"Daddy?"
"Yes Sweetie?"
"Will you tell me the story of when the sun used to rise in the east?"
"Sure. You like that one don't you?"
"Yeah, it's my favorite."
"Not too long ago, the sun used to rise in the east and set in the west, instead of what it does now. Back then people were very confused about life and why we are here."
"They didn't know about love?"
"They thought they did, but theirs was a very different kind of love. Most of the time when people said, "I love you," it meant, "I need you," or "I'm afraid of losing you."
"But how can they need someone or lose someone if we are all one?"
"They didn't know that we are all one back then."
"Why not?"
"Because back then, people were stuck on the wheel of karma, and they kept making the same mistakes and never evolved."
"That's sad."
"Yes it is, but it was all part of the journey that brought us here."
"Tell me about governments."
"There were governments that would make rules for the people to follow, and if the people didn't follow them, they would be punished."
"Where did the governments come from?"
"The people put them there."
"Why did the people need to be told what to do? Couldn't they think for themselves?"
"Back then most people were very afraid that other people would do things to them that they wouldn't like, so the governments had things called armies that would scare people in far away places so they wouldn't come here and do bad things to us."
"Why do we fight with people in far away places?"
"Because some people used to think that everyone should live the way that they do, so they would try to force other people to live their way."
"Using the governments and armies?"
"Yup. And the whole time, they didn't realize that by hurting someone else, they were only hurting themselves."
"Because we're all one?"
"Exactly, Angel."
"Tell me about the machines."
"Well, when people wanted to go far they had to drive in these things called cars that would move faster and take them there. When they wanted to go really far, especially if they had to go over the ocean, they would go in these big machines with wings called planes."
"Why couldn't people move fast or fly without these machines?"
"Because people didn't know how to harness the energy and use it themselves, they needed the machines to do it for them."
"Just like how they couldn't make light unless they had a lamp?"
"You got it."
"What was it like when the change happened?"
"It was very dark and very still. Then...BANG! The sky lit up and everything was crazy. All the planes came crashing down and cars crashed all over the place because they stopped working."
"Because all the energy that was trapped in the machines was freed?"
"Right again."
"What did everybody do?"
"Well, most of the people were very scared because they didn't know how to live without all those machines so it meant that their lives would be very different. Plus back then people lived for less than a hundred years, so it was hard for any one of them to understand the big picture. But people like me and your mother and your aunts who were alive back then, weren't afraid. We knew how to work with the energy and we knew that it was a change for the better, that it was the start of something wonderful. Especially because I knew that I couldn't bring you into the old world, and once the change had happened, it meant that soon you would come to us. Once we left the people of the old world behind, your mother and I knew we could finally bring you into this world."
"Is that why you're so old?"
"Ha ha ha! Am I that old?"
"Well, you're the oldest person I know."
"I'm the oldest person I know too! That's because the year I was born there were very few of us. Around the time Auntie Pam was born there were a lot more, and there were more and more ever since."
"What happened to the people of the old world? Did they die?"
"I'm sure there are some left. When we left them behind, they were still here, it's just that we are at a higher frequency than they were so we couldn't see them and they couldn't see us."
"Was anyone you know left behind?"
"Oh yes. Almost all of my friend and our family was left behind."
"Is that why all my cousins live with us?"
"Yes. Everyone that lives here with us is all that's left of the people I knew."
"Do you ever miss the others?"
"Oh yes, but they are happier where they are and couldn't live here. And I'm happier here and couldn't live there."
"Don't worry Daddy, we'll all be together again some day."
"Thank you, Sara, you're right."
"What do you think they did when they were left behind?"
"Probably tried to rebuild the world the way they remembered it. Probably had this big "battle between good and evil" that their religions foretold."
"What were the religions for again?"
"Religion was a way of making God into a thing that was out in space, far away from us, that made up rules that we had to follow and if we didn't, we would be punished."
"Like a government?"
"Yeah, I guess it does sound a lot like a government."
"How come they didn't know that we are all God, and God is not something "out there", but "in here"? Didn't anyone tell them?"
"Oh yes, lots of us tried. I think they were afraid. I there was no God "out there" who would take care of them, who could they blame if something happened that they didn't like?"
"Didn't they know that everything happens for a reason?"
"Some did, but not at the level that we do. They thought it meant that the god "out there" has a plan for us."
"They didn't know that we choose our path before we are born?"
"It was harder for them to remember. Their frequency was a lot lower than ours so they couldn't access the information."
"It must have been so hard for them!"
"It was. But it was all necessary to get where we are today."
"YAWN...I know."
"Are you ready to sleep?"
"Yeah..."
"Ok, I'll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams."
"I love you, Daddy."
"I love you, Saraswati."
"I'm glad I picked you."
"I'm glad you picked me, too."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight, my little Goddess. Namaste."
Monday, March 19, 2007
On The Path
When you are on your Path,
It is not the road you walk on that is important:
Do not look down.
It is not what lies behind you that is important:
Do not look back.
It is not what lies in front of you that is important:
Do not look ahead.
It is where you are, on your Path that is important:
Look around…
It is not the road you walk on that is important:
Do not look down.
It is not what lies behind you that is important:
Do not look back.
It is not what lies in front of you that is important:
Do not look ahead.
It is where you are, on your Path that is important:
Look around…
Recent
Now you'll see my more up to date work, as well as anything new I write from now on. There isn't a lot right now, but trust me, there will be more.
Mirror
A man who makes a mirror sees his own reflection in it.
If he shows that mirror to anyone else, they see their own reflection.
The purpose of a mirror is not to see the image of its creator,
But for the ones who view it to see their own images looking back at them.
The difference is that the creator of the mirror realizes the need to see himself,
And everyone else benefits by in turn being able to see themselves.
If he shows that mirror to anyone else, they see their own reflection.
The purpose of a mirror is not to see the image of its creator,
But for the ones who view it to see their own images looking back at them.
The difference is that the creator of the mirror realizes the need to see himself,
And everyone else benefits by in turn being able to see themselves.
Light and the Darkness
In the Darkness I cannot see,
I need Light to find my Path.
Others try to shine their light on me to help me find my way,
But the brighter they shine their lights, the darker my shadow becomes.
If I wish to part the Darkness I must shine my own light to see by,
But I must be careful of how bright I shine.
Just as in the absence of Light:
In the absence of Darkness, I am also blind.
I need Light to find my Path.
Others try to shine their light on me to help me find my way,
But the brighter they shine their lights, the darker my shadow becomes.
If I wish to part the Darkness I must shine my own light to see by,
But I must be careful of how bright I shine.
Just as in the absence of Light:
In the absence of Darkness, I am also blind.
Quinn’s Flying Machine
Oh God, I’m fucked.
I was put on this new type of plane. After take-off, they shut down the engines, and it is supposed to keep flying, only it’s “flying” into the ground! We’re crashing and I’m the only one on board who realizes it. Because we haven’t hit the ground yet, everyone else actually thinks it’s flying. I didn’t even want to be on this plane! They told us all after we got on board and were in the air that it was a prototype and we were the lucky bunch that gets to try it…then they turned off the engines. The rest of the passengers and crew think it’s working wonderfully. After I realized it was crashing I mentioned it to a few people: they weren’t interested. I ran up and told the attendants: they wouldn’t hear it. Then I got really upset, but I couldn’t go tell the pilots. They were too busy “flying” and since no one else had a problem but me, they couldn’t be bothered. I asked out of desperation if I could have a parachute. Let me jump out and everyone else can go on “flying.” They told me it was impossible, the doors are locked, and they can’t open them just for me. I was told to go back to my seat to relax and enjoy the “flight.” You know what though? I’m calm now, I’m accepting my fate. And what comforts me is the fact that everyone on this plane will die because of their ignorance and blindness. I welcome the crash, I WANT IT!
Well we’re about 100 feet from the ground now and everyone finally realizes what is about to happen…
I’m tired of being right all the time
I was put on this new type of plane. After take-off, they shut down the engines, and it is supposed to keep flying, only it’s “flying” into the ground! We’re crashing and I’m the only one on board who realizes it. Because we haven’t hit the ground yet, everyone else actually thinks it’s flying. I didn’t even want to be on this plane! They told us all after we got on board and were in the air that it was a prototype and we were the lucky bunch that gets to try it…then they turned off the engines. The rest of the passengers and crew think it’s working wonderfully. After I realized it was crashing I mentioned it to a few people: they weren’t interested. I ran up and told the attendants: they wouldn’t hear it. Then I got really upset, but I couldn’t go tell the pilots. They were too busy “flying” and since no one else had a problem but me, they couldn’t be bothered. I asked out of desperation if I could have a parachute. Let me jump out and everyone else can go on “flying.” They told me it was impossible, the doors are locked, and they can’t open them just for me. I was told to go back to my seat to relax and enjoy the “flight.” You know what though? I’m calm now, I’m accepting my fate. And what comforts me is the fact that everyone on this plane will die because of their ignorance and blindness. I welcome the crash, I WANT IT!
Well we’re about 100 feet from the ground now and everyone finally realizes what is about to happen…
I’m tired of being right all the time
Mathilda: The Professional
Mathilda is hanging upside down in her closet doing sit-ups. There is a knock at the door, it is her friend Noel. Noel asks her if she is up yet, and if she is going to breakfast. Mathilda says, “one minute”, finishes her sit-ups, jumps down, then answers the door. Mathilda invites Noel in and comments on how she is early. Noel says she couldn’t sleep. (Noel is a quiet girl, but today she is unusually so.) They engage in small talk while Mathilda gets ready. (She puts on her choker, and then puts on round sunglasses in the mirror.) Then the two of them leave for the cafeteria.
The two of them wait in line and get their food (Mathilda gets lots of milk), then go sit down at an empty table where no one else joins them. They engage in still more small talk and Mathilda finally notices how quiet Noel is. She tries to get out of her what it wrong, but just when Noel is about to tell her, a certain male teacher catches Noel’s eye and gives her a stern look. Noel stops abruptly and her eyes start to fill up with tears. Mathilda turns to see what she is looking at and she sees the teacher. Mathilda turns back to face Noel and ask her what the deal is, but she has already taken off crying. Mathilda gets a bad feeling and goes to look for her friend.
Eventually Mathilda meets up with Noel at Noel’s room and Noel tells her what happened with the teacher the night before. Noel tells Mathilda that even if she tells anybody, they won’t believe her, and everyone will hate her, They decide that they will try to deal with it together.
A few days later Mathilda goes to Noel’s room to get her for breakfast because Noel didn’t show up at Mathilda’s room like she usually does. There is no answer when Mathilda knocks on the door. Mathilda picks the lock and lets herself in. She sees Noel lying in the bed and there is an empty bottle of sleeping pills on the night table with a note. She tries to wake Noel up, but it is too late, she is dead. Mathilda calls 911 and all of the authorities come. Mathilda tries to tell the police and the heads of the school what happened with the teacher, but no one believes her.
“Just another depressed teen-ager.” After Mathilda realizes that she will get nowhere going through proper channels , she realizes, “It’s time to go see Uncle Tony!”
She goes to Tony and after a brief argument, she convinces him to help her. Within the next few days he gets her a pistol with a silencer and bolt cutters and gives her money for the hotel she will be staying in when this is over. She goes to the teacher’s apartment, puts gum on the peephole, feels for where the chain is, then gets him to open the door. He doesn’t have the chain on and opens the door all the way. He is startled to see her with the bolt cutters and she is startled because she didn’t have to cut the chain…but she improvises. She swings the bolt cutters and hits him in the head, knocking him to the ground. She puts the cutters back in the holster on her leg and takes out the gun and points it at him. He looks up and sees it and gets nervous and starts to try to talk his way out of it. She pays no attention to him as she is screwing the silencer on. When she is done and pays attention to him he makes a last attempt by offering her money, good grades, etc. “I’m not here to negotiate,” she says and pulls the trigger shooting him in the stomach. He looks down horrified, then looks back up at her. Their eyes meet and she says, “No women, no kids,” and pulls the trigger a second time. This one gets him in the chest, and he falls back dead.
Mathilda walks back to her room at school and gathers a few important belongings, then leaves for good. As she is leaving the campus, she says goodbye to the tree she planted about five years ago.
The two of them wait in line and get their food (Mathilda gets lots of milk), then go sit down at an empty table where no one else joins them. They engage in still more small talk and Mathilda finally notices how quiet Noel is. She tries to get out of her what it wrong, but just when Noel is about to tell her, a certain male teacher catches Noel’s eye and gives her a stern look. Noel stops abruptly and her eyes start to fill up with tears. Mathilda turns to see what she is looking at and she sees the teacher. Mathilda turns back to face Noel and ask her what the deal is, but she has already taken off crying. Mathilda gets a bad feeling and goes to look for her friend.
Eventually Mathilda meets up with Noel at Noel’s room and Noel tells her what happened with the teacher the night before. Noel tells Mathilda that even if she tells anybody, they won’t believe her, and everyone will hate her, They decide that they will try to deal with it together.
A few days later Mathilda goes to Noel’s room to get her for breakfast because Noel didn’t show up at Mathilda’s room like she usually does. There is no answer when Mathilda knocks on the door. Mathilda picks the lock and lets herself in. She sees Noel lying in the bed and there is an empty bottle of sleeping pills on the night table with a note. She tries to wake Noel up, but it is too late, she is dead. Mathilda calls 911 and all of the authorities come. Mathilda tries to tell the police and the heads of the school what happened with the teacher, but no one believes her.
“Just another depressed teen-ager.” After Mathilda realizes that she will get nowhere going through proper channels , she realizes, “It’s time to go see Uncle Tony!”
She goes to Tony and after a brief argument, she convinces him to help her. Within the next few days he gets her a pistol with a silencer and bolt cutters and gives her money for the hotel she will be staying in when this is over. She goes to the teacher’s apartment, puts gum on the peephole, feels for where the chain is, then gets him to open the door. He doesn’t have the chain on and opens the door all the way. He is startled to see her with the bolt cutters and she is startled because she didn’t have to cut the chain…but she improvises. She swings the bolt cutters and hits him in the head, knocking him to the ground. She puts the cutters back in the holster on her leg and takes out the gun and points it at him. He looks up and sees it and gets nervous and starts to try to talk his way out of it. She pays no attention to him as she is screwing the silencer on. When she is done and pays attention to him he makes a last attempt by offering her money, good grades, etc. “I’m not here to negotiate,” she says and pulls the trigger shooting him in the stomach. He looks down horrified, then looks back up at her. Their eyes meet and she says, “No women, no kids,” and pulls the trigger a second time. This one gets him in the chest, and he falls back dead.
Mathilda walks back to her room at school and gathers a few important belongings, then leaves for good. As she is leaving the campus, she says goodbye to the tree she planted about five years ago.
Time
It started out like any other day. I was late for school and out of breath from running down the street trying to make up some time. I had hit the snooze button one too many times that morning and rather than sacrifice breakfast, I chose to move at double the speed. What I didn’t realize though was that the three bowls of “Lucky Charms” I had would give me “unlucky cramps” by the time I got to the end of my street. I was forced to alternate between running and walking (mostly walking), the whole time hoping that maybe my watch was a little more ahead than usual. Maybe instead of five minutes ahead of school time it had gradually sped up, without me noticing it, and become fifteen minutes ahead. Or maybe one of the busses was late, so they would be letting students into home room after the late bell. It had happened before, on more than on occasion and while it was a long shot, it gave me hope.
Finally, I was in sight of the school (with no sign of a late bus) and decided that the final stretch, no matter how much my midsection hurt, that I would run. At the end of my sprint I threw open the door and charged up three flights of stairs to the second floor. I went left at the top of the stairs, shot down the eerily empty hall, careened right around the corner and all but threw myself through the door.
“Not even close,” my homeroom teacher had said. “The late bell rang almost ten minutes ago.”
As I dropped my head and turned to start my trip to the office I heard one of the students under his breath say, “Maybe if you skipped breakfast now and then, Fatty, it would save you some time.”
Within a few minutes I was in line at the office waiting for my turn to get a late slip. When I got to the counter the secretary asked for my last name. “Girard” I told her, then to specify: “Timothy”. She then checked the big list of students to see how many lates I had. I knew I wasn’t going to get one of the regular slips, because I already had gotten office detention a few
times for being late. I wasn’t prepared, however, for what the secretary said next.
“This is your sixth time tardy, you have to be suspended. Go wait by the vice-principal’s office so he can fill out the paperwork.” Suspended? What the hell! What kind of stupid ass rule is that: Your punishment for missing ten minutes of homeroom is to miss three days of school.
When I finally got into the vice-principal’s office, I just sat there sulking while she filled out the paperwork and told me how they’re just preparing me for the real world and how if I had been late this many times at a job they would have fired me. But at my age I didn’t care about what kind of lesson they were teaching me. All I cared about was that I was going to have to go home and tell my parents. They would lecture me on how I have to get up earlier, but to do that I would have to go to bed earlier, but to do that I would have to start my homework earlier. If I did all this, when would I do all the things that I wanted to do like watch some TV, read a book, hang out with my friends? There just isn’t enough time in the day.
Once I was done being lectured, I was allowed to leave and begin my walk home. I kept going over in my mind how I would tell my parents, how they would react, and most importantly, how this would effect my weekend. I was so deep into thought when I got to the street that I didn’t bother to look before I crossed the street. The speed limit on this street is 25mph, but no one comes even close to following it. The absolute slowest anyone goes is 45mph. Plus, at the point where I was crossing there was a curve in the road, so anyone coming around the corner at 45mph would not be able to stop in time for a pedestrian who stepped right out in front of them…as I did.
The first thing I noticed was the silence. At first I thought I was dead and that’s why I couldn’t hear anything. Then I wondered if getting hit made me deaf. I opened my eyes to see where I was, and I saw that I was standing in the same spot. When I noticed the car coming, I didn’t have time to run or jump out of the way or anything. The only reaction I had time for was to turn my head, close my eyes, and wince at how much I was going to hurt. This was the position I was in now. I turned around in the direction that the car was coming from to see if maybe at the last second it had swerved off the road and hit a tree or something. To my complete surprise, I saw that the car was still there. The car had stopped dead about three feet in front of me. I wondered how he was able to stop in time and why he wasn’t yelling and swearing at me for getting in front of him. Then I noticed why he wasn’t moving at all. It was like he had been frozen stiff. I walked around to the driver’s side and looked in the window. As I walked around , the driver’s gaze remained straight ahead. I was trying to make sense of all this and I happened to look to my right. I noticed that all down the street there were cars, all stopped dead, like this one. I walked down the street a couple of feet and noticed another strange thing. One of the houses on the right had someone coming out if it, but she was frozen mid-step, looking at her watch, halfway out the door. This was nothing compared to what I saw next. On the sidewalk where I was walking there was a bunch of leaves in mid-air frozen in the shape of a cyclone. I went over and put my hand over them, under them, and on all sides, like a magician does to see if there were any strings holding them up. They were somehow suspended in mid-air.
This was the last straw, now I started getting freaked out. Why was there no sound at all and why was everything frozen in time? I didn’t like this, it was creepy. I wanted everything to start moving again…and then it did. I was knocked down by the barrage of sound and motion that returned all at once. Luckily I had moved to the sidewalk while everything was frozen, otherwise I would have been hit by all of the oncoming traffic. After a moment I got up, crossed the street (this time making sure to look both ways) and walked the rest of the way home.
Later that night, when both my parents were home and they began to lecture me (as I knew they would), I could not stop thinking about what had happened that afternoon. How come things had frozen just in time for me to not be hit by a car? How come I was still able I move? Why wasn’t there any sound? These questions plagued me well into the night until I had finally fallen asleep.
Well, I was off to a great start. It was my first day back after being suspended and guess what: I was running late. This time I opted to not eat breakfast, but I still left the house ten minutes after I should have. Some time before I got to the bottom of my street I started thinking about what happened three days ago. What if I walked to school while everything was frozen? What if I walked to school while everything was frozen? What if the clocks at school would be frozen too? Remembering that it happened last time when I almost got hit by a car, I ran into the street, just as a car was turning the corner. Unfortunately the car wasn’t going very fast and almost as soon as I stepped in front of it, the driver stopped short and began yelling at me questioning my mother’s species, insinuating that she was a canine. As I stepped out of his lane and onto the other side of the road, I got a little luckier. A black Monte Carlo had come roaring down the street and I had just enough time to glance over my shoulder and think that it wouldn’t stop in time when all of a sudden that silence came. I opened my eyes and looked and saw that the front bumper of the Monte Carlo was less than a foot from my legs. “That was too close,” I said, but this startled me because even though I know I said these words aloud, I didn’t hear them out loud. All I heard was a mumble inside my head.
“Oh well,” I thought, “no time to think about that now,” without realizing that I had as much time to think about it as I wanted to. I looked at my watch and it said 7:14. This meant that school time was 7:09 and in one minute the first bell would ring meaning we have ten minutes to get to homeroom. From where I was standing it usually takes me over fifteen minutes to get to school, so I hoped this would work. I began to jog down the street (not realizing that I could walk as slow as I wanted) all the while thinking how weird all this was but not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth. I would pass other people who were on their way to school and laugh to myself at the thought that I would get there before they did. When I got to the door that I usually enter the school through something occurred to me: What if because everything is frozen, I can’t open the door? Oh well, only one way to find out. I grabbed the handle, pressed the button, and pulled, and to my dismay, it opened. I guessed that things could move if I moved them. Once I let go of the door, it stayed open, so I pushed it shut.
As I was about to run up the stairs I realized that if I unfroze everything and I was standing somewhere that I wasn’t standing before, it would look kind of peculiar just appearing out of nowhere. So to remedy this I found a corner where no one was around and concentrated as hard as I could (not really knowing what to concentrate on).
The sound hit me like an explosion. The voices of about 1200 teenagers all entering my ears at once was like getting slammed with sledge hammers on both sides of my head. I staggered out of my hiding spot and made my way to homeroom. On the way I heard a bell ring, and thought, “Oh man, what bell is that?” Frantically I pulled back my coat sleeve to look at my watch and saw that it said 7:15 (which meant that school time was 7:10). The last time I looked at my watch it had said 7:14 and that was about fifteen minutes ago. Out of disbelief that it actually worked, I stopped someone in the hallway.
“Hey, what bell was that?”
“The ten past bell, man.”
It worked. It really worked. By sheer will I had stopped time, was able to move around and get where I needed to be, and then restart time. This event more than any other had changed my life.
Throughout the years I found many advantages of having my little gift. I was never late for homeroom, or any classes for that matter, ever again. Whenever there was a timed test, especially the SAT’s, I was able to take as much time as I needed. If there was ever a day when I had homework that wasn’t done, I would just take care of it the minute before it was due. If my parents made me do something before I went out with my friends on a Saturday, like clean my room, my whole Saturday would not be wasted. I did not however use my ability to cheat. If I was taking a test, I wouldn’t stop time to look in my books for the answers, or go up to the teacher’s desk and look at the key.
There were limitations, however, to what I could do while time was stopped. Things could move if I moved them, but anything using electricity or having moving parts was useless. That’s why I can take a test while time is stopped, but I can’t type a paper on a computer or electric typewriter. This is why, even when I got a car, I never drove to school. The car would not run if I stopped time and I would still have to deal with traffic. If I walked though I could walk as slow as I wanted and still get there with plenty of time to spare. Also, the reason why I couldn’t hear anything was because nothing could vibrate to produce a sound and the sound waves of a sound couldn’t move. This is why I couldn’t even hear my own voice outside of my own head.
Having this power was a great advantage and was also useful for some fun and pranks, which I won’t get into. However, in my later years of college I learned that it came with a price. Going into my freshmen year I was used to it being a part of my life. If some of my friends called me to go drinking with them and I had some homework to do I’d tell them that I’d be done in a minute…and that’s all it would take. By the time they walked from their dorm next door to my dorm, I would have an entire 10 page paper done, and be wearing a new set of clothes for going out. The problem I ran into was that there were a lot more papers that needed to be typed so I would have to do them without stopping time. These were in addition to my regular homework which I could do while stopping time. There were also many projects I had to do that involved other people or going to other places. All these things I had to do without stopping time. Then when I moved to a house off campus, I had to drive to school so I couldn’t stop time then. There were chores around the house that I had to do, like laundry and doing the dishes, where time couldn’t be stopped. Also, I had a campus job that time could not be stopped for. Because of this, I had to stop time to do other things like eat, read, brush my teeth, get dressed, and sleep. The one that affected me the most was sleep. If I pulled an all-nighter and then it was time to get ready for school, I would stop time, go to sleep, and then when I woke up on my own, I would start time again and then get ready for school. This I had to do very often because of all my new (time requiring) activities.
I continued on like this, growing more and more dependent on my addiction as the years went on until, in my senior year, when someone, I don’t remember who, made a comment that my hair grows fast. This made me start to wonder, so I did a little experiment. One morning when I got up at 8:00, I shaved my face and by about 4:00 it started to get a little prickly. The next few nights I purposely didn’t get enough sleep: only about 5 hours a night. On about the fifth night, I shaved again, and went to bed at 4 in the morning, but before sleeping at all I stopped time. When I woke up I went into the bathroom to inspect my face. I had more stubble on my face than I did the other day when 8 hours had gone by! This meant that while time was stopped, my hair continued to grow, which meant that I continued to grow, which meant that I continued to age. This had never occurred to me before. Franticly, I ran and got a pencil and paper and began to do the math. I figured that, on average per week, I stopped time for 32 hours. Times 52 weeks in a year, times 6 years that I’ve had this curse. This came to a total of 9984 hours, which I divided by 24 for the hours in the day.
“416 days! That’s over a year extra that I’ve lived in this span of time! I’m going to be a year older than everyone I graduate with! This wasn’t a blessing, it’s a fucking disease that ate my life away! I can’t stop using it now, I don’t know how to manage my life without it! Oh God, it’ll probably keep getting worse and worse until I die 40 years before I’m supposed to!”
After this screaming fit, I dropped my pencil and stared blankly at the wall for some time. How much time? I do not know.
Finally, I was in sight of the school (with no sign of a late bus) and decided that the final stretch, no matter how much my midsection hurt, that I would run. At the end of my sprint I threw open the door and charged up three flights of stairs to the second floor. I went left at the top of the stairs, shot down the eerily empty hall, careened right around the corner and all but threw myself through the door.
“Not even close,” my homeroom teacher had said. “The late bell rang almost ten minutes ago.”
As I dropped my head and turned to start my trip to the office I heard one of the students under his breath say, “Maybe if you skipped breakfast now and then, Fatty, it would save you some time.”
Within a few minutes I was in line at the office waiting for my turn to get a late slip. When I got to the counter the secretary asked for my last name. “Girard” I told her, then to specify: “Timothy”. She then checked the big list of students to see how many lates I had. I knew I wasn’t going to get one of the regular slips, because I already had gotten office detention a few
times for being late. I wasn’t prepared, however, for what the secretary said next.
“This is your sixth time tardy, you have to be suspended. Go wait by the vice-principal’s office so he can fill out the paperwork.” Suspended? What the hell! What kind of stupid ass rule is that: Your punishment for missing ten minutes of homeroom is to miss three days of school.
When I finally got into the vice-principal’s office, I just sat there sulking while she filled out the paperwork and told me how they’re just preparing me for the real world and how if I had been late this many times at a job they would have fired me. But at my age I didn’t care about what kind of lesson they were teaching me. All I cared about was that I was going to have to go home and tell my parents. They would lecture me on how I have to get up earlier, but to do that I would have to go to bed earlier, but to do that I would have to start my homework earlier. If I did all this, when would I do all the things that I wanted to do like watch some TV, read a book, hang out with my friends? There just isn’t enough time in the day.
Once I was done being lectured, I was allowed to leave and begin my walk home. I kept going over in my mind how I would tell my parents, how they would react, and most importantly, how this would effect my weekend. I was so deep into thought when I got to the street that I didn’t bother to look before I crossed the street. The speed limit on this street is 25mph, but no one comes even close to following it. The absolute slowest anyone goes is 45mph. Plus, at the point where I was crossing there was a curve in the road, so anyone coming around the corner at 45mph would not be able to stop in time for a pedestrian who stepped right out in front of them…as I did.
The first thing I noticed was the silence. At first I thought I was dead and that’s why I couldn’t hear anything. Then I wondered if getting hit made me deaf. I opened my eyes to see where I was, and I saw that I was standing in the same spot. When I noticed the car coming, I didn’t have time to run or jump out of the way or anything. The only reaction I had time for was to turn my head, close my eyes, and wince at how much I was going to hurt. This was the position I was in now. I turned around in the direction that the car was coming from to see if maybe at the last second it had swerved off the road and hit a tree or something. To my complete surprise, I saw that the car was still there. The car had stopped dead about three feet in front of me. I wondered how he was able to stop in time and why he wasn’t yelling and swearing at me for getting in front of him. Then I noticed why he wasn’t moving at all. It was like he had been frozen stiff. I walked around to the driver’s side and looked in the window. As I walked around , the driver’s gaze remained straight ahead. I was trying to make sense of all this and I happened to look to my right. I noticed that all down the street there were cars, all stopped dead, like this one. I walked down the street a couple of feet and noticed another strange thing. One of the houses on the right had someone coming out if it, but she was frozen mid-step, looking at her watch, halfway out the door. This was nothing compared to what I saw next. On the sidewalk where I was walking there was a bunch of leaves in mid-air frozen in the shape of a cyclone. I went over and put my hand over them, under them, and on all sides, like a magician does to see if there were any strings holding them up. They were somehow suspended in mid-air.
This was the last straw, now I started getting freaked out. Why was there no sound at all and why was everything frozen in time? I didn’t like this, it was creepy. I wanted everything to start moving again…and then it did. I was knocked down by the barrage of sound and motion that returned all at once. Luckily I had moved to the sidewalk while everything was frozen, otherwise I would have been hit by all of the oncoming traffic. After a moment I got up, crossed the street (this time making sure to look both ways) and walked the rest of the way home.
Later that night, when both my parents were home and they began to lecture me (as I knew they would), I could not stop thinking about what had happened that afternoon. How come things had frozen just in time for me to not be hit by a car? How come I was still able I move? Why wasn’t there any sound? These questions plagued me well into the night until I had finally fallen asleep.
Well, I was off to a great start. It was my first day back after being suspended and guess what: I was running late. This time I opted to not eat breakfast, but I still left the house ten minutes after I should have. Some time before I got to the bottom of my street I started thinking about what happened three days ago. What if I walked to school while everything was frozen? What if I walked to school while everything was frozen? What if the clocks at school would be frozen too? Remembering that it happened last time when I almost got hit by a car, I ran into the street, just as a car was turning the corner. Unfortunately the car wasn’t going very fast and almost as soon as I stepped in front of it, the driver stopped short and began yelling at me questioning my mother’s species, insinuating that she was a canine. As I stepped out of his lane and onto the other side of the road, I got a little luckier. A black Monte Carlo had come roaring down the street and I had just enough time to glance over my shoulder and think that it wouldn’t stop in time when all of a sudden that silence came. I opened my eyes and looked and saw that the front bumper of the Monte Carlo was less than a foot from my legs. “That was too close,” I said, but this startled me because even though I know I said these words aloud, I didn’t hear them out loud. All I heard was a mumble inside my head.
“Oh well,” I thought, “no time to think about that now,” without realizing that I had as much time to think about it as I wanted to. I looked at my watch and it said 7:14. This meant that school time was 7:09 and in one minute the first bell would ring meaning we have ten minutes to get to homeroom. From where I was standing it usually takes me over fifteen minutes to get to school, so I hoped this would work. I began to jog down the street (not realizing that I could walk as slow as I wanted) all the while thinking how weird all this was but not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth. I would pass other people who were on their way to school and laugh to myself at the thought that I would get there before they did. When I got to the door that I usually enter the school through something occurred to me: What if because everything is frozen, I can’t open the door? Oh well, only one way to find out. I grabbed the handle, pressed the button, and pulled, and to my dismay, it opened. I guessed that things could move if I moved them. Once I let go of the door, it stayed open, so I pushed it shut.
As I was about to run up the stairs I realized that if I unfroze everything and I was standing somewhere that I wasn’t standing before, it would look kind of peculiar just appearing out of nowhere. So to remedy this I found a corner where no one was around and concentrated as hard as I could (not really knowing what to concentrate on).
The sound hit me like an explosion. The voices of about 1200 teenagers all entering my ears at once was like getting slammed with sledge hammers on both sides of my head. I staggered out of my hiding spot and made my way to homeroom. On the way I heard a bell ring, and thought, “Oh man, what bell is that?” Frantically I pulled back my coat sleeve to look at my watch and saw that it said 7:15 (which meant that school time was 7:10). The last time I looked at my watch it had said 7:14 and that was about fifteen minutes ago. Out of disbelief that it actually worked, I stopped someone in the hallway.
“Hey, what bell was that?”
“The ten past bell, man.”
It worked. It really worked. By sheer will I had stopped time, was able to move around and get where I needed to be, and then restart time. This event more than any other had changed my life.
Throughout the years I found many advantages of having my little gift. I was never late for homeroom, or any classes for that matter, ever again. Whenever there was a timed test, especially the SAT’s, I was able to take as much time as I needed. If there was ever a day when I had homework that wasn’t done, I would just take care of it the minute before it was due. If my parents made me do something before I went out with my friends on a Saturday, like clean my room, my whole Saturday would not be wasted. I did not however use my ability to cheat. If I was taking a test, I wouldn’t stop time to look in my books for the answers, or go up to the teacher’s desk and look at the key.
There were limitations, however, to what I could do while time was stopped. Things could move if I moved them, but anything using electricity or having moving parts was useless. That’s why I can take a test while time is stopped, but I can’t type a paper on a computer or electric typewriter. This is why, even when I got a car, I never drove to school. The car would not run if I stopped time and I would still have to deal with traffic. If I walked though I could walk as slow as I wanted and still get there with plenty of time to spare. Also, the reason why I couldn’t hear anything was because nothing could vibrate to produce a sound and the sound waves of a sound couldn’t move. This is why I couldn’t even hear my own voice outside of my own head.
Having this power was a great advantage and was also useful for some fun and pranks, which I won’t get into. However, in my later years of college I learned that it came with a price. Going into my freshmen year I was used to it being a part of my life. If some of my friends called me to go drinking with them and I had some homework to do I’d tell them that I’d be done in a minute…and that’s all it would take. By the time they walked from their dorm next door to my dorm, I would have an entire 10 page paper done, and be wearing a new set of clothes for going out. The problem I ran into was that there were a lot more papers that needed to be typed so I would have to do them without stopping time. These were in addition to my regular homework which I could do while stopping time. There were also many projects I had to do that involved other people or going to other places. All these things I had to do without stopping time. Then when I moved to a house off campus, I had to drive to school so I couldn’t stop time then. There were chores around the house that I had to do, like laundry and doing the dishes, where time couldn’t be stopped. Also, I had a campus job that time could not be stopped for. Because of this, I had to stop time to do other things like eat, read, brush my teeth, get dressed, and sleep. The one that affected me the most was sleep. If I pulled an all-nighter and then it was time to get ready for school, I would stop time, go to sleep, and then when I woke up on my own, I would start time again and then get ready for school. This I had to do very often because of all my new (time requiring) activities.
I continued on like this, growing more and more dependent on my addiction as the years went on until, in my senior year, when someone, I don’t remember who, made a comment that my hair grows fast. This made me start to wonder, so I did a little experiment. One morning when I got up at 8:00, I shaved my face and by about 4:00 it started to get a little prickly. The next few nights I purposely didn’t get enough sleep: only about 5 hours a night. On about the fifth night, I shaved again, and went to bed at 4 in the morning, but before sleeping at all I stopped time. When I woke up I went into the bathroom to inspect my face. I had more stubble on my face than I did the other day when 8 hours had gone by! This meant that while time was stopped, my hair continued to grow, which meant that I continued to grow, which meant that I continued to age. This had never occurred to me before. Franticly, I ran and got a pencil and paper and began to do the math. I figured that, on average per week, I stopped time for 32 hours. Times 52 weeks in a year, times 6 years that I’ve had this curse. This came to a total of 9984 hours, which I divided by 24 for the hours in the day.
“416 days! That’s over a year extra that I’ve lived in this span of time! I’m going to be a year older than everyone I graduate with! This wasn’t a blessing, it’s a fucking disease that ate my life away! I can’t stop using it now, I don’t know how to manage my life without it! Oh God, it’ll probably keep getting worse and worse until I die 40 years before I’m supposed to!”
After this screaming fit, I dropped my pencil and stared blankly at the wall for some time. How much time? I do not know.
College and Post-College
Most of these next works I am way more proud of than the high school stuff. They also have a very different direction. Enjoy! (I hope)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Upside-down
Your down side is up, Your up side is down
You walk on the ceiling, And not on the ground
Your right is the left, Your left is the right
Your evening is day, And your morning is night
Your inside is out, Your outside is in
Your triumph is failure, And your defeat is a win
Your backward is front, Your forward is back
You feel you’re imprisoned, When they cut you some slack
The winter water burns, And the fire’s so cold
Your maturity comes so young, And you’re a fool when you grow old
You remember the future, While you sit around and wait for the past
You can’t wait for yesterday, Because tomorrow went by so fast
You’re not like us, you don’t fit in
The list’s so long, I don’t know where to begin
You walk on the ceiling, And not on the ground
Your right is the left, Your left is the right
Your evening is day, And your morning is night
Your inside is out, Your outside is in
Your triumph is failure, And your defeat is a win
Your backward is front, Your forward is back
You feel you’re imprisoned, When they cut you some slack
The winter water burns, And the fire’s so cold
Your maturity comes so young, And you’re a fool when you grow old
You remember the future, While you sit around and wait for the past
You can’t wait for yesterday, Because tomorrow went by so fast
You’re not like us, you don’t fit in
The list’s so long, I don’t know where to begin
Haiku
The rain in the sky
Beautiful liquid crystals
Like tears on my face
Thunder in the air
Lightning up in the heavens
A dry summer breeze
Snow covered mountains
Clouds slowly drifting above
An eagle soars by
A strong sturdy tree
Leaves of yellow, red and brown
Stirred by a fall breeze
The tide rolling in
Foam rises on the wet sand -
Flows over my toes
Drifting in the sea
All alone in the ocean
No land is in sight
Beautiful liquid crystals
Like tears on my face
Thunder in the air
Lightning up in the heavens
A dry summer breeze
Snow covered mountains
Clouds slowly drifting above
An eagle soars by
A strong sturdy tree
Leaves of yellow, red and brown
Stirred by a fall breeze
The tide rolling in
Foam rises on the wet sand -
Flows over my toes
Drifting in the sea
All alone in the ocean
No land is in sight
New Heart (1/23/95)
Created - through the hands of another
Comfort - given from her like no other
In the silence that grips me
From the pain that rips me-
I grow a new heart
Flourished by her presence
Held in her arms, as she is in mine
Love without limits, Life without time
Her comforting shelter - a calm reassurance
Today and forever - her loving endurance
A safe place, with no worry or fears
Her warm gentle love, dries all my tears
Begun in life; continuing through death
In each other’s arms we will breathe our dying breath
Into the afterlife our spirits will soar
And so will our love from now until evermore…
Comfort - given from her like no other
In the silence that grips me
From the pain that rips me-
I grow a new heart
Flourished by her presence
Held in her arms, as she is in mine
Love without limits, Life without time
Her comforting shelter - a calm reassurance
Today and forever - her loving endurance
A safe place, with no worry or fears
Her warm gentle love, dries all my tears
Begun in life; continuing through death
In each other’s arms we will breathe our dying breath
Into the afterlife our spirits will soar
And so will our love from now until evermore…
The Dream Chronicles Part 1 The End of the World (11/13/94)
Woah, what a weird dream! It started off with me in bed. When I got up and looked out the window, I didn’t see the sky, or clouds or the sun. I saw a giant scroll stretching as far as I could see. The writing on it, I knew, was Ancient Hebrew. Even though I couldn’t read Ancient Hebrew, I knew the scroll said that today was the end of the world.
Alarmed by this fact, I ran downstairs screaming and hollering, “Oh my God, we’re going to die!” But when I reached the kitchen, everyone was sitting there, peacefully eating breakfast and chatting like they normally would. I asked them if they noticed that the sky had been replaced by a giant scroll, reading that today was the end of the world. They said that they realized this and decided to spend their last day on Earth doing their normal everyday routine; living out the day as God gives it to them.
But I didn’t want to spend my last day here sitting around the house. There were people that I wanted to say goodbye to and spend time with, movies I wanted to see, places I wanted to go, experiences I wanted to have. But my parents insisted that we all stay home together like we normally would have, and I wasn’t even allowed to use the phone.
Upset by this condition, I went upstairs to sulk. I spent almost my entire day upstairs pouting, crying, reading, writing poems, listening to the radio, playing my guitar, lying down, and crying some more. I only went downstairs to eat, watch TV for a few minutes, ask my parents if they changed their minds about letting me leave the house, and then pout in front of them when I got their answer.
Unavoidably, the end of the day, and world, was only a few minutes away. So my parents called me downstairs, and we all went and sat out on the porch together and waited.
The second before the day ended, the entire sky lit up with a flash that totally blinded me, and for an instant, I felt unconscious. Then, immediately after, I regained consciousness, but not my vision; I was still blind. I realized that I was in the presence of God, and that he is about to decide where I go in the afterlife.
Then God spoke, but it wasn’t a man’s voice and it wasn’t a woman’s voice either. It wasn’t a child’s voice, nor was it an adult’s voice. It wasn’t an angry, or happy or sad voice. It wasn’t in English, or Spanish, or French or Italian. It was a voice like all the voices ever spoken since the beginning of time combined. Every tone, every emotion, every octave in every language, of every voice, was in God’s voice all at once.
And God said: “Timothy Daniel Girard, this past day has been your Day of Judgment. It was to reflect how you looked upon your entire life: to see if you have lived a full and fruitful and happy one.”
“You spent your last day doing nothing but wallowing in self pity, and trying to bring others down with you. This proves that you haven’t used the life that I have given you, to its full extent, and then wished to fit everything in on the Last Day.”
“You will be given one last chance to prove that you can use the gifts that I have given you, to their fullest extent and be happy with the results. Now go. And heed these words I have told you, for this is your last chance.”
And with those words, the blinding, white light began to fade until I was in total darkness. That is when I opened my eyes, here in my bed. Wow, weird.
Well, I should get back to sleep, I have to get up early for school. Well, G’night…
-Until when next I dream-
Alarmed by this fact, I ran downstairs screaming and hollering, “Oh my God, we’re going to die!” But when I reached the kitchen, everyone was sitting there, peacefully eating breakfast and chatting like they normally would. I asked them if they noticed that the sky had been replaced by a giant scroll, reading that today was the end of the world. They said that they realized this and decided to spend their last day on Earth doing their normal everyday routine; living out the day as God gives it to them.
But I didn’t want to spend my last day here sitting around the house. There were people that I wanted to say goodbye to and spend time with, movies I wanted to see, places I wanted to go, experiences I wanted to have. But my parents insisted that we all stay home together like we normally would have, and I wasn’t even allowed to use the phone.
Upset by this condition, I went upstairs to sulk. I spent almost my entire day upstairs pouting, crying, reading, writing poems, listening to the radio, playing my guitar, lying down, and crying some more. I only went downstairs to eat, watch TV for a few minutes, ask my parents if they changed their minds about letting me leave the house, and then pout in front of them when I got their answer.
Unavoidably, the end of the day, and world, was only a few minutes away. So my parents called me downstairs, and we all went and sat out on the porch together and waited.
The second before the day ended, the entire sky lit up with a flash that totally blinded me, and for an instant, I felt unconscious. Then, immediately after, I regained consciousness, but not my vision; I was still blind. I realized that I was in the presence of God, and that he is about to decide where I go in the afterlife.
Then God spoke, but it wasn’t a man’s voice and it wasn’t a woman’s voice either. It wasn’t a child’s voice, nor was it an adult’s voice. It wasn’t an angry, or happy or sad voice. It wasn’t in English, or Spanish, or French or Italian. It was a voice like all the voices ever spoken since the beginning of time combined. Every tone, every emotion, every octave in every language, of every voice, was in God’s voice all at once.
And God said: “Timothy Daniel Girard, this past day has been your Day of Judgment. It was to reflect how you looked upon your entire life: to see if you have lived a full and fruitful and happy one.”
“You spent your last day doing nothing but wallowing in self pity, and trying to bring others down with you. This proves that you haven’t used the life that I have given you, to its full extent, and then wished to fit everything in on the Last Day.”
“You will be given one last chance to prove that you can use the gifts that I have given you, to their fullest extent and be happy with the results. Now go. And heed these words I have told you, for this is your last chance.”
And with those words, the blinding, white light began to fade until I was in total darkness. That is when I opened my eyes, here in my bed. Wow, weird.
Well, I should get back to sleep, I have to get up early for school. Well, G’night…
-Until when next I dream-
Human Nature (10/6/94)
As humans we have certain tendencies that, at times, seem to run our lives. Those tendencies include selfishness, jealousy, hatred, stubbornness, obsession and confusion to name a few.
Let’s take the first one: Selfishness. To think of yourself more than others. This is most common in small children and becomes less and less visible with age (but is still very much present among adults).
Next is Jealousy, a form of selfishness, but not as bad. It is wanting, for yourself, something (or someone) that someone else has. It’s not a very satisfying feeling. If you spend your life wishing you had what he has, you’ll never be happy. You’ll also annoy people around you with your endless whining.
Hatred: the straight out, utter despising of someone. This one can eat you up if you let it get the best of you. The littlest peeve, if left to fester, can soon turn into this horrible monster which makes its host irrational, moody and sometimes violent.
“No, I will not see things from your point of view, I’m right, my point of view is the best. I’m not going to listen to you, no, no, no, no…” - Stubbornness. Being closed-minded to everyone’s opinion but yours. This is especially difficult for you and everyone to cope with if you have an occupation in which you constantly are working with other people. Anything that requires a team effort; sports, work, a band a relationship; can’t work if one of those members is stubborn. Then he becomes the boss (or so he thinks) and people just won’t put up with that.
Okay, here’s a fun one: Obsession. This is when you want, more than anything, that which is extremely bad for you, of otherwise unattainable. The more people try to keep you away from an object (or person) you would like to obtain, the more you crave it. And then finally when people say, “Okay, fine, do what you want,” and all of a sudden, this thing is attainable, you run right out, and you… don’t want it anymore. Pretty warped and twisted, huh?
Last, but not least: Confusion (most common in teenagers). The result of all these aspects, plus others, trying to be dominant in your personality. With all of these traits trying to make themselves you, you soon forget who the real you is. It’s best to just wait and let them fight it out. Eventually they kill each other off, and only the real you will remain.
I hope you enjoyed this trip into the psyche, and I hope it didn’t make you too scared of yourself. Maybe it made you realize a few things that need changing. Do your best, but don’t get too frustrated, because remember; you’re only human.
Let’s take the first one: Selfishness. To think of yourself more than others. This is most common in small children and becomes less and less visible with age (but is still very much present among adults).
Next is Jealousy, a form of selfishness, but not as bad. It is wanting, for yourself, something (or someone) that someone else has. It’s not a very satisfying feeling. If you spend your life wishing you had what he has, you’ll never be happy. You’ll also annoy people around you with your endless whining.
Hatred: the straight out, utter despising of someone. This one can eat you up if you let it get the best of you. The littlest peeve, if left to fester, can soon turn into this horrible monster which makes its host irrational, moody and sometimes violent.
“No, I will not see things from your point of view, I’m right, my point of view is the best. I’m not going to listen to you, no, no, no, no…” - Stubbornness. Being closed-minded to everyone’s opinion but yours. This is especially difficult for you and everyone to cope with if you have an occupation in which you constantly are working with other people. Anything that requires a team effort; sports, work, a band a relationship; can’t work if one of those members is stubborn. Then he becomes the boss (or so he thinks) and people just won’t put up with that.
Okay, here’s a fun one: Obsession. This is when you want, more than anything, that which is extremely bad for you, of otherwise unattainable. The more people try to keep you away from an object (or person) you would like to obtain, the more you crave it. And then finally when people say, “Okay, fine, do what you want,” and all of a sudden, this thing is attainable, you run right out, and you… don’t want it anymore. Pretty warped and twisted, huh?
Last, but not least: Confusion (most common in teenagers). The result of all these aspects, plus others, trying to be dominant in your personality. With all of these traits trying to make themselves you, you soon forget who the real you is. It’s best to just wait and let them fight it out. Eventually they kill each other off, and only the real you will remain.
I hope you enjoyed this trip into the psyche, and I hope it didn’t make you too scared of yourself. Maybe it made you realize a few things that need changing. Do your best, but don’t get too frustrated, because remember; you’re only human.
Space? (9/28/94)
What lies beyond the limits of out atmosphere? Is it just a vast nothingness, not comprehendible by out human minds? Were all space travels and satellite-taken-pictures just something cooked up in Hollywood and accepted by people as a reality?
Assuming that what NASA has explored is not a farce, what lies beyond what the telescopes have seen? Or what the satellites have taken pictures of? Or where the astronauts have been? Are there any galaxies out there like ours; any that have something close to our form of life? Do we have alien counterparts somewhere? Or are they something totally different? Are our time and size the same or relative to theirs? Is there no real life as we know it, but only celestial beings? Are we alone in the universe?
How far does the universe reach? Is it an endless void with no beginning or end? With no center or boundaries? Is that the expression of infinity; or is it a little different? Does the Universe have boundaries? If so, what lies beyond those boundaries? Suppose we were to get past the reaches of the Universe, would we find that our entire Universe is merely the nucleus of an atom in a whole other universe? And is every nucleus of an atom in that universe a different universe altogether? What if every nucleus of an atom in our Universe is an entire universe altogether? Does it continue both ways like that forever? Is that infinity?
Did our Universe ever have a birth? Will it have a death? Are these questions too complex for our human minds to ponder? Or are we just too scared to realize or find out? I’m not: what’s out there?
In my opinion, space is what we make of it. It does not apply to any certain set of rules. Each person is different and has their own set of opinions and thoughts. We all see things differently. We can’t see something from someone else’s eyes, therefore we don’t know what they see. In this sense, we don’t know what they see space as. Therefore, there is no proof that space is the same for everybody. Space is in the eye of the beholder.
(I would like to thank my Dad and Stephen King for their theories on space which I have included in this essay.)
Assuming that what NASA has explored is not a farce, what lies beyond what the telescopes have seen? Or what the satellites have taken pictures of? Or where the astronauts have been? Are there any galaxies out there like ours; any that have something close to our form of life? Do we have alien counterparts somewhere? Or are they something totally different? Are our time and size the same or relative to theirs? Is there no real life as we know it, but only celestial beings? Are we alone in the universe?
How far does the universe reach? Is it an endless void with no beginning or end? With no center or boundaries? Is that the expression of infinity; or is it a little different? Does the Universe have boundaries? If so, what lies beyond those boundaries? Suppose we were to get past the reaches of the Universe, would we find that our entire Universe is merely the nucleus of an atom in a whole other universe? And is every nucleus of an atom in that universe a different universe altogether? What if every nucleus of an atom in our Universe is an entire universe altogether? Does it continue both ways like that forever? Is that infinity?
Did our Universe ever have a birth? Will it have a death? Are these questions too complex for our human minds to ponder? Or are we just too scared to realize or find out? I’m not: what’s out there?
In my opinion, space is what we make of it. It does not apply to any certain set of rules. Each person is different and has their own set of opinions and thoughts. We all see things differently. We can’t see something from someone else’s eyes, therefore we don’t know what they see. In this sense, we don’t know what they see space as. Therefore, there is no proof that space is the same for everybody. Space is in the eye of the beholder.
(I would like to thank my Dad and Stephen King for their theories on space which I have included in this essay.)
Fly (8/31/94)
Walking on the Earth
Ever since my birth
Glued to the ground;
To the land, I am bound
I want to leave the Earth’s confines
To find a brand new state of mind
To reach the clouds and mountaintops
Past the stratosphere, I will not stop
I want to fly
Fly: sail through the sky
Fly: bid the ground (Earth) my good-bye
Fly-the trees, the birds, the air
Fly-mountains, clouds, the stratosphere
Floating in the water,
Swimming in a lake
I’m drowning in this H2O
I can barely stay awake
A new sensation to dry my eyes
Leave the water that I despise
To glide through the air around and around
I could stay here forever and never come down
Wind in my hair, air all around
With one last look, wave good-bye to the ground
Ever since my birth
Glued to the ground;
To the land, I am bound
I want to leave the Earth’s confines
To find a brand new state of mind
To reach the clouds and mountaintops
Past the stratosphere, I will not stop
I want to fly
Fly: sail through the sky
Fly: bid the ground (Earth) my good-bye
Fly-the trees, the birds, the air
Fly-mountains, clouds, the stratosphere
Floating in the water,
Swimming in a lake
I’m drowning in this H2O
I can barely stay awake
A new sensation to dry my eyes
Leave the water that I despise
To glide through the air around and around
I could stay here forever and never come down
Wind in my hair, air all around
With one last look, wave good-bye to the ground
Thunder and Lightning (7/19/94)
BOOM!
A fire in the sky
A rumble in the distance
A thudding in your ear
Your heart skips a beat
A crackle in the air
As the vibration catches your feet
Nature’s fireworks
The clashing of gods
An explosion of fury
As the clouds collide
In a great battle
That seems to never subside
The cold rain hits tour face
It sends a chill down your spine
The sky begins to cry
As the tremendous light show continues
You’re frightened by the noise
And yet a strange sort of peace dwells within you
A natural wonder that
graces the sky
The shape of this beauty
quickly catches you eye
Overcome by the sound
Hypnotized by the sight
You give in to the wonder
As your imagination takes flight!
Soaring through the tempest
Dancing with the clouds
Wrestling with the lightning
The thunder: hear it sound
Back here on Earth
You rub and open your eyes
You look up as the clouds
Are leaving the skies
The remnants of the summer storm
The air is damp but warm
You think the storm has totally gone
But one last beauty before it goes
Enter - the rainbow…
A fire in the sky
A rumble in the distance
A thudding in your ear
Your heart skips a beat
A crackle in the air
As the vibration catches your feet
Nature’s fireworks
The clashing of gods
An explosion of fury
As the clouds collide
In a great battle
That seems to never subside
The cold rain hits tour face
It sends a chill down your spine
The sky begins to cry
As the tremendous light show continues
You’re frightened by the noise
And yet a strange sort of peace dwells within you
A natural wonder that
graces the sky
The shape of this beauty
quickly catches you eye
Overcome by the sound
Hypnotized by the sight
You give in to the wonder
As your imagination takes flight!
Soaring through the tempest
Dancing with the clouds
Wrestling with the lightning
The thunder: hear it sound
Back here on Earth
You rub and open your eyes
You look up as the clouds
Are leaving the skies
The remnants of the summer storm
The air is damp but warm
You think the storm has totally gone
But one last beauty before it goes
Enter - the rainbow…
Valentine (2/14/94)
His is a struggle between two loves
Though he can’t see it yet,
One is not a true love,
But an indulgent substitute
He thinks his feelings aren’t as
Strong for his true love
But he is just afraid to admit to
Himself how strong his love really is
He has been fooled before and has
Mistaken false love for true
In his confusion and hurt
He now mistakes true love for false
He thinks he sees signs
Of her returned love
But as self defense,
He becomes numb to them (no more hurt)
As they talk, he becomes more sure
Of his love for her
And her possible
Love for him
In their conversations, he sees a
Way that he can win her heart
A rose, she said would make her happy
On Valentine’s Day
Not “a” rose he gets her, but two
Because he doesn’t just want to
Make her happy, but also to
Show his great love for her
“Happy Valentine’s Day” he says
As he presents his gift
In her eyes he begins to see
Her love surface
They danced that evening
He would look into her eyes
“I love her” he would think
Nothing but, “I love her”
As they parted that night
They kissed
And when they kissed,
Oh sweet bliss
He went home that night with a promise,
A promise of togetherness,
A promise of happiness,
A promise of Love
Though he can’t see it yet,
One is not a true love,
But an indulgent substitute
He thinks his feelings aren’t as
Strong for his true love
But he is just afraid to admit to
Himself how strong his love really is
He has been fooled before and has
Mistaken false love for true
In his confusion and hurt
He now mistakes true love for false
He thinks he sees signs
Of her returned love
But as self defense,
He becomes numb to them (no more hurt)
As they talk, he becomes more sure
Of his love for her
And her possible
Love for him
In their conversations, he sees a
Way that he can win her heart
A rose, she said would make her happy
On Valentine’s Day
Not “a” rose he gets her, but two
Because he doesn’t just want to
Make her happy, but also to
Show his great love for her
“Happy Valentine’s Day” he says
As he presents his gift
In her eyes he begins to see
Her love surface
They danced that evening
He would look into her eyes
“I love her” he would think
Nothing but, “I love her”
As they parted that night
They kissed
And when they kissed,
Oh sweet bliss
He went home that night with a promise,
A promise of togetherness,
A promise of happiness,
A promise of Love
The Tunnel (11/8/93)
I am walking through the tunnel; the tunnel is my life.
I can see painted pictures to my left and to my right.
The pictures are events in life, the ones that I hold dear.
Little do I realize, the end of my tunnel is near.
I see my Mom, I see my Dad, I see my sisters and pets.
I see my friends, I see my cousins, but I haven’t seen you yet.
Ah, here it is, I strain my neck to see it up above.
The painting is a symbol of our confused and tortured love.
As I walk on, I see yet more; paintings of you and me.
Then I come upon one painting, that seems quite strange to me.
In this painting, I am on the ground, by my side you are crying.
Soon I come to realize, that in this painting, I am dying.
There was a struggle, your life was threatened, so I came to your side.
It’s clear to me, that for you, my love, from this struggle, I have died.
Suddenly there is a light so bright, it blinds and burns my eyes.
I cannot see the angels, but I can hear their beautiful cries.
The angels take me from my tunnel, to bring me to paradise.
“But I don’t want to go!” I shout, “I don’t want to leave my life!”
I awaken the next morning with the sun in my eyes, and my body drenched with sweat.
I’m here! I’m alive! Lying safely in bed, the angels haven’t taken me yet.
Then I recall last night’s dream, and the struggles that took place.
I remember my death, I remember the angels, and then I remember your face.
I come to realize, how I feel; for you my love is true.
I realize that though I’m scared; I’d die, my love, for you.
I can see painted pictures to my left and to my right.
The pictures are events in life, the ones that I hold dear.
Little do I realize, the end of my tunnel is near.
I see my Mom, I see my Dad, I see my sisters and pets.
I see my friends, I see my cousins, but I haven’t seen you yet.
Ah, here it is, I strain my neck to see it up above.
The painting is a symbol of our confused and tortured love.
As I walk on, I see yet more; paintings of you and me.
Then I come upon one painting, that seems quite strange to me.
In this painting, I am on the ground, by my side you are crying.
Soon I come to realize, that in this painting, I am dying.
There was a struggle, your life was threatened, so I came to your side.
It’s clear to me, that for you, my love, from this struggle, I have died.
Suddenly there is a light so bright, it blinds and burns my eyes.
I cannot see the angels, but I can hear their beautiful cries.
The angels take me from my tunnel, to bring me to paradise.
“But I don’t want to go!” I shout, “I don’t want to leave my life!”
I awaken the next morning with the sun in my eyes, and my body drenched with sweat.
I’m here! I’m alive! Lying safely in bed, the angels haven’t taken me yet.
Then I recall last night’s dream, and the struggles that took place.
I remember my death, I remember the angels, and then I remember your face.
I come to realize, how I feel; for you my love is true.
I realize that though I’m scared; I’d die, my love, for you.
The Definition of Love IV. What Love Is
I was introduced to her, and I learned her name
Pretty soon I had feelings for her, but these weren’t the same
“We respect each other”
That’s what love is
“We care for each other”
That’s what love is
“We have hope for each other”
That’s what love is
“We share our dreams with each other”
That’s what love is
“We can wait for each other”
That’s what love is
I know that if it ends, we will always be friends
Pretty soon I had feelings for her, but these weren’t the same
“We respect each other”
That’s what love is
“We care for each other”
That’s what love is
“We have hope for each other”
That’s what love is
“We share our dreams with each other”
That’s what love is
“We can wait for each other”
That’s what love is
I know that if it ends, we will always be friends
The Definition of Love III. What Is Love?
I am lost - in a forest of questions
I am drowning - in a lake of confusion
I don’t know love
I am sad from the loss of my lover
I am lonely because I don’t have another
I lost my love
What is love?
I am drowning - in a lake of confusion
I don’t know love
I am sad from the loss of my lover
I am lonely because I don’t have another
I lost my love
What is love?
The Definition of Love II. adoration
I’m so confused about how I feel
I have feelings for you, but I don’t know if they’re real
One thing I’m sure, is that I adore you with all of my heart
No matter how far you wander, your absence makes my heart grow fonder
I don’t know if it’s love, I don’t know if it’s lust, but I know it’s you I adore
I can’t live without your touch, every day I want you more and more
Even though what we once had is gone, my love for you still lives on-
As a feeling of adoration…
I have feelings for you, but I don’t know if they’re real
One thing I’m sure, is that I adore you with all of my heart
No matter how far you wander, your absence makes my heart grow fonder
I don’t know if it’s love, I don’t know if it’s lust, but I know it’s you I adore
I can’t live without your touch, every day I want you more and more
Even though what we once had is gone, my love for you still lives on-
As a feeling of adoration…
The Definition of Love I. So You Think You’re In Love?
Joe loves Jane and Jane loves Joe
That’s how a typical teenage story goes
“We’re gonna be together ‘4-eva’ and a day”
“We don’t care what our parents say”
“We’d do anything for love” -
So you think you’re in love?
“We need each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We hold each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We touch each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We prize each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We want each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We lust each other”
Well that’s not love.
Well Joe dumped Jane and Jane hates Joe
Where did that teenage “love” go?
See, you thought you were in love
That’s how a typical teenage story goes
“We’re gonna be together ‘4-eva’ and a day”
“We don’t care what our parents say”
“We’d do anything for love” -
So you think you’re in love?
“We need each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We hold each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We touch each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We prize each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We want each other”
So you think you’re in love?
“We lust each other”
Well that’s not love.
Well Joe dumped Jane and Jane hates Joe
Where did that teenage “love” go?
See, you thought you were in love
Solitaire
Solitaire - a game made for one
Solitude - loneliness is anything but fun
Solitaire - the lonely man’s game
Seclusion - a deserted (alienated) man with no name
Solitaire - amusement for the lonely
Soliloquy - conversation for the only
No friends, no family, no one to turn to.
You’re al alone, the only one who cares for you is you
Solitude - loneliness is anything but fun
Solitaire - the lonely man’s game
Seclusion - a deserted (alienated) man with no name
Solitaire - amusement for the lonely
Soliloquy - conversation for the only
No friends, no family, no one to turn to.
You’re al alone, the only one who cares for you is you
Because I Do
“Why,” you ask, “do you love me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you get so lonely?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to see me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to call me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you not trust me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to kiss me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to hold me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want only me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you feel life is empty without me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to spend forever with me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you?”
I reply: “Because I Love You.”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you get so lonely?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to see me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to call me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you not trust me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to kiss me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to hold me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want only me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you feel life is empty without me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you want to spend forever with me?”
My reply: “Because I Do.”
“Why,” you ask, “do you?”
I reply: “Because I Love You.”
I'm back
Hey, it's been a while. I wanted to use this to post some of the other creative writing I've done. First I'm going to post all of the old stuff I did back when I was in high school. Some of them are poems, some song lyrics, some essays and some aren't even finished. I'm not saying they're great, or even good, but keep in mind, I was in high school. Here they are.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)