Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

OK. This is how it is. They’re gone. Not coming back. All I can do is live with that. All I can do is live. It still fucking sucks and it still hurts like hell, but I can’t change any of it. Sitting around thinking about it and feeling sorry for myself only makes it worse, not better. The only way it’s going to get better is if I go out and do something. Anything.

The “me” that I was before this happened is gone. When it happened, I entered a new part of my life, shitty though it was. I miss so many parts of my old life before it happened, even things as simple as just being happy. Not having to do anything to make myself happy, just being happy. I wish so much that I could go back to that…but I know I can’t. The only thing I can do is to move forward. The only way I can make things better is to go to the next part of my life. If the time before was, “before my family died” and since has been, “after my family died”, I have to move to something beyond that. I have to begin the part of my life that is simply, “Tim’s Life”. I kind of like that. Puts a little smile on my face.

I’m going to take a deep breath and take the next step. I am now going to embark on this journey that is “Tim’s Life”. I don’t know what it will be, but I know it’s a journey that only I can take. I know they will be there, watching me.

I miss you like crazy, and I will always love you. Goodbye.