Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

About an hour later, I get back to my house. When I go inside, I see my roommate in the living room watching TV. After some small talk, I finally get down to talking about what’s really on my mind.

“You know, I understand death. Death is not bad for those that died. They go on to another better place..”
“Heaven?”
“Or re-incarnation, or what ever.”
“Which one is it, do you think?”
“I think it depends on the person.”
“Like if they’re good they go to heaven, bad they go to hell, in between they get re-incarnated?”
“Kind of, but I don’t think it’s an absolute kind of thing. I don’t believe there is someone up there that decides, ‘you were bad, you go to hell’ or ‘you did what I wanted you to do, so you get to come chill with us in the clouds’. I think that whatever a person believes and however they live, that is the experience they create for themselves in the afterlife.”
“Like how ghosts are spirits of people who are holding on to something in this world?”
“Yeah like that, but it goes for everyone though. Plus I don’t think you need to listen to what religions tell you to do, in order to live your life the right way and get the afterlife you desire.”
“So what, you think people can do whatever they want, steal, rape and kill, and they can still go to heaven if that’s what they want?”
“If a person does all those things, then they are dwelling in a very dark place and they are creating a lot of painful emotions that will cling to them and that will become a part of what is in their afterlife. But it is all made up of things that they chose, not some punishments imposed by this celestial being.”
“So you don’t believe in God?”
“Not the way most people do. I don’t believe in the man with the white beard and the white robe. I don’t believe in the vengeful, wrathful, punishing father figure with human emotions like jealousy anger and the need for power over others. I don’t believe in a god that tests us by saying, “prove that you love me by killing your only son.” I don’t believe in a god that stacks up all our ‘sins’ and uses them against us. I don’t believe in a god that gives us this ’free will’ to do what we want, except that there is a right and wrong thing to do, and if we do the ’wrong’ thing, we get punished for it. This results in us making choices based on what ‘won’t get us in trouble’ rather than what we actually would choose to do.”
“So you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want, like kill?”
“How come whenever the subject of ‘doing whatever you want’ comes up, killing is the first thing on your mind? Is the fear of getting arrested or going to hell the only thing keeping you from killing? You know what, don’t answer that. (Sigh…) There are plenty of laws and commandments that say not to kill, and that doesn’t stop the people who do. All that image of ‘God’ does, is put fear in the hearts of people who are probably already good people to begin with.”
“So what do you think God is then?”
“It’s more than that. Way more. I haven’t quite been able to put it into words yet, but I have an idea. In a science textbook I read at some point, it had a definition of the Universe. I didn’t say, “all the stars and planets and dust and empty space,“ or anything like that. I simply said, “everything there is“. That’s how I think of God. God is everything, everywhere, every when. God isn’t just some being out there in space separate from us, God is us, and everything in between. I don’t know, it sounds kind of generic when I say it out loud, but the way I feel it and think about it, I know it’s true. Plus God is so vast that you can’t put human limitations on it and anyone who does, obviously has the wrong idea. I mean no limited human mind could perceive what God is. They think they can, but that is pride and their ego talking…”
“’They’…? What, like you aren’t human too?”
“…huh? Where was I? Oh yeah, so the conventional ideas of god and the afterlife are wrong, but my main point when I started all this was that, this life is not just a means to an end. We are not here to do a bunch of good deeds in order to earn as many “God Points” as we can, or to be tested to see if we are good enough to get into heaven, or whatever. We were given this life to do something, we are given this life for a purpose. And we do a great disservice to the creator that gave us this opportunity, by not making the most out of, and enjoying, all of the gifts given to us. And that’s what I’ve learned from all this. You can’t waste time in this life doing what everyone else thinks you should be doing. You should be doing what you are supposed to be doing. And that’s what I’m going to start doing.”
“What is it you are supposed to be doing?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I know some of the things I’m NOT supposed to be doing. I can also tell when I am doing something right because of the feeling I get. Like this. This conversation. This realization. I feel great about this. This is right.”
“If it’s so right, then how come you still seem so upset?”
“Because I miss my friend.”